When I got home last night around 8:00. I heard a scratching sound in the pantry. I knew exactly what it was because the same thing had happened several years before. A bird had somehow fallen down into the vent pipe again. I had to wait for Joe to get home for this one…..He arrived and I proceeded to tell him that we had a problem in the house. He sighed, “just tell me”. Okay, it must not have been such a hard thing to do because Joe didn’t even remember getting the first bird out years before . I reminded him by showing him the duct tape repair job from where we had to slice the pipe the last time (Ha! yeah, maybe just a little redneck showing here…). He still didn’t remember…..Well he appraised the situation and surmised that the bird was still up a little higher than the slice in the pipe and just around a slight curve.
I had my shoes on so he sent me out to get a shovel. He pryed the pipe apart with the shovel and advised that we just wait it out with the pantry doors closed. So, 11:30 rolls around….the bird still hadn’t come out. Joe was thinking, let’s just wait it out and see if he comes out by morning. Well, my brain doesn’t think like Joe’s I wanted that bird out now!!!! All I could think about was that it was going to die this awful ventpipe death overnight and we just couldn’t let that happen. Nor could I sleep just thinking of the poor bird and just hearing him scratching less and less. He was sure to be a gonner by morning…..
Joe mumbled something as he relented to go and try to figure something out. He did….The Vaccuum! “Perfect” I thought….I plugged it in (because my on/off switch just broke) and he stuck the sucker hose up the pipe. He hollered “I think I got him”! I unplugged the vacuum and we hurried outside to let him out. I was literally jumping up and down thanking the Lord for answered prayer!!!! No bird…..so back we went to try again. This time he saw the bird come out part way so he grabbed the tail and accidentally pulled a few tail feathers out. He hosed it again and sucked his bum into the hose. He was too big to go completely inside. I couldn’t see what was going on from the bathroom where I was operating the plug, I just kept hearing the commotion. This time he didn’t say anything but just ran to the back door. I – (thinking he sucked it up again), unplugged the vacuum, he hollered “NO!” the suck went off and the bird flew away – yep inside! Shear panic…as I realized this bird could be loose in the house with no way to catch it but a BB gun…. now wouldn’t that just contradict everything humane we were just trying to do? I have to admit though it was about half my humane thinking and the other half not wanting a dead stinking bird in the vent pipe.
While Joe kept the bird cornered in the mudroom, he hollered to me to come and take his place to keep him from flying down the hallway into the living room. I took Joe’s place and he sneaked by the “glad-to-be-out” bird and opened the back door. He crouched down and I jumped up and down waving my arms to the bird would fly towards the door….it worked! The bird flew out!
Yeah, I started rejoicing over the whole incident again, both Joe and I were laughing so hard. Realizing that Joe’s “Bring-em-back-alive”, “impress-my-wife” efforts along with a little intervention from the commissioned angels to help with the problem was all it took to rid a big starling bird out of a 2 inch vent pipe. I’m not real sure where to put this in Joe’s long line of achievements, but I’m sure it will come in handy again somewhere along the line…..just not in my house again, thank you……
Yea, my husband still impresses me….I kissed his cheek and told him he was my Hero! He just giggled and smiled.
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